no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
