Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
