On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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