Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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