Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
