New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
