Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
