You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
