we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
