I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
