dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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