This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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