No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
