So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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