Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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