Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
