So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
