I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize