Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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