if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
