Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
...so i touched it.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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