Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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