It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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