Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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