I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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