Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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