You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
