Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
