I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Houston, we have a blender
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
