Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
