Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Randomize
