You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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