the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
