Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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