Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Randomize
