Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Randomize
