We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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