Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
