You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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