And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
you had me at cake vodka
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
