She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
can u get pink eye on your cock?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
