I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
