i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
