Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Randomize
