I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
