You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
