I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
He better not be in your backpack
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
