Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
