ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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