bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
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