508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
