I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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