Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
