she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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