At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Randomize
