im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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