Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
