Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
handjob tips. give me some.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
