My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I just found a bag of teeth...
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
