At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
