im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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