Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Send help, water and tortillas.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
