Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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