i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
