Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
cat food counts as protein by the way
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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