did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
